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Really, where does this story begin? For Hannah, this has been an on-going experience, as she has been in and out of foster care since she was very little. Her life story is mind-blowing, but one I feel should be kept sacredly secret, until she is ready to share with the world... That being the case, I will start with how Danny and I found out what was actually going on with Hannah, Michael, and Sydney that lead us to the point we are at right now. A little over two years ago, we were in a place in our lives that we felt we could take them in and care for them, but the circumstances were not in our favor on the other side of the table, and unfortunately, we couldn't force anything to change at that time.
Fast forward to this past March, when Danny received a call from his step-brother who told him that he and his wife were coming to Florida to check on the kids. They also informed us that there were in the process of trying to get the kids out of foster care, as at this point, the kids had been in for a year and were being put up for adoption by the state. Danny and I were aw-struck by how amazing his step-brother and step-sister-in-law were for taking on this huge responsibility. They already have three children, all under the age of six... and they live out of state. After spending some time with them, I prayed to Mother Mary on what she thinks Danny and I should do. While we knew the kids had a loving home to go to, I felt like the Holy Spirit was calling us to adopt our nieces and nephew as our own. We talked to Danny's step-brother and step-sister-in-law about how we felt, and they were supportive. They helped us get in contact with foster mom and the case worker to get the adoption process started. Truly, they made our dreams come true, and I continued to pray to Mother Mary, asking her for guidance and strength throughout the entire process. I am SO thankful for Danny's step-brother and step-sister-in-law for being so gracious as to give us the opportunity to be able to adopt our now amazing three children.
So, why all the praying to Mother Mary? Well, first of all, I knew that going from zero to three children overnight was not going to be easy... to say the least (I'll blog about this later). At the time Danny and I started all of this, we were living in a 700 square foot, one-bedroom apartment. We just moved in in November of 2017 and so we would have to break our lease and find a three-bedroom home. The cost of breaking our lease set us back almost $3000. Not to mention closing costs on a new house, a down-payment, and other expenses such as a new air conditioner and appliances. So, here I was, finishing up the school year in April; in the meantime I was buying a house and working on adopting three children. We had to go to court, file for relative care, send--what seemed like a million-documents to the mortgage broker, go to work, pick the kids up from school to spend time with them, drop them off back to foster mom's before eight every night, meet with the case worker for the home-study, get furniture for the house... and the list goes on... it's a miracle my sanity stated in tact (thanks to the help of many, which I will blog another day). To say the least, this was truly the most emotional time of my entire life....
Every time I had to take the kids back to foster mom's, tears would roll down my face... I was always so nervous that something wouldn't go through with the house, or that our finger print backgrounds wouldn't come in on time, and the process would continue to get delayed (and surprise, it did... dealing with the system is no small feat, let me tell you...) Then, on top of all of that, how scared I was to disappoint the children if things did get delayed... I'll never forget when I looked at Hannah after dropping her off one night at foster mom's. I said to her, "Ok, see you tomorrow sweetie," and she responds with a sullen tone, "we'll see." The doubt in her voice when she spoke those two words made me so sad... for her. The hope a child should treasure, and even take for granted, was lost... how was I ever going to prove to this child that I will keep my word? Her fears were so real, so deep... I wouldn't be able to dig a hole wide enough to put them in.
I reminded Hannah that I can only prove myself with time. I pleaded with her to not give up on me... but her crystal blue eyes spoke her mind: she had doubts, and rightfully so after everything she'd been through in her life, but I refused to give up on them no matter how hard it got. Just the other day she looked around the house and said to me, "hey wow, we live here with you guys." So, she is still not 100% trusting... or maybe believing is a better way to put it, but as each day goes by, I try to show her how much I love her by spending time with her and listening to her and taking her and her siblings to doctors appointments, and church, and getting them ready for the school year. As each day goes by, the kids become more and more responsive to how we are raising them (another post for another day!) and more trusting and honest about their feelings on what we are doing. So, let's start here and I will continue to write more about this journey... to include things about foster care, resources I've been using, and strength and support from our church community and beyond. Stay tuned!
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